Saga of a birdbrain

March 2006 It all started with a thump. I knew what it was immediately because it wasn't the first time I had heard it. However, it was the first time I heard it repeatedly. A bird had flown into the dining room window. This time it didn't just pick it self up and fly away. It perched its little brain-damaged body on the ledge and would fly up and down, up and down the length of the window pecking, pecking, pecking. This first day it randomly charged its reflection in the window for nearly 3 hours. My amusement turned to amazement and wonderment to slight irritation. What's a word worse than irritation? I am not sure but that is how I felt when it was back the next day at the living room window which is directly opposite the dining room window. I was in for another day of random tapping. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, the little pecker discovered the brass kick-plate on our front door. The first time I heard it at the front door was 5:00 a.m. Saturday morning. I get confused in my sleep. My husband doesn't hold me accountable for things I say and do in my sleep, thank heavens. I don't think a court of law could hold me accountable. I am not rational or reasonable. I am groggy and confused. So when I hear the birdbrain I woke my husband up to see if the bird woke him up. (Or so I am told. I don't remember doing this.) I did however ask him later if the bird woke him up. He replied, "No, YOU woke me up." Heehee, sorry. But, you know, he should really be more aware in his sleep... Do you believe in karma, fate or what comes around goes around? How about voo-doo dolls? I may be getting paid back for a few little stunts I pulled on my little brother. I was somewhere around 15-16 and watched Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" with my 5 or 6 year-old brother. When it was over and he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth for bedtime, I yelled, "THE BIRDS" and lobbed a stuffed animal at him. As if that weren't enough, I then stood by the edge of the door to BOO! him when he walked out. He slept with our parents that night. He is a well-adjusted electrical engineer in Tokyo, Japan now. I guess that is far enough away from me. Although, I always thought China was the farthest away possible. Do they have voo-doo dolls in Japan? I am picturing a doll of me with a bird beak pecked into it somewhere. We are on day 5 of bird-pecker hell. Today is the day I am going up to the attic to dig out the last of the screens that the former owners inexplicably removed. Someone suggested that may cut down of the reflection of the bird. Were it not pouring rain, I'd cover the kick-plate with newspaper. That may have to wait for sunnier days. You know, now that I think of it, where was my mom on that fateful night? Why was she letting a 5-year-old watch "The Birds"? Mom, this is all your fault.